A Childhood Cancer Survivor Blogging about the World of Childhood Cancer

Posts tagged ‘Childhood Cancer Survivor’

Reason For Celebration!

If you could have just one thing in life, what would you wish for?

I would wish for my life!

Two years ago today, I finished my cancer treatments… yes, the year that followed treatments was even more difficult than during, but what a celebration to be done with treatment!  When I got home late this afternoon from Relay for Life book signing this morning, then rehearsing all day with NHS Dance Company, I found pink balloons in my room.  It was mom’s way of saying, “I love you… it’s a special day!”

I think I will gather stories from other survivors, and ask them what they did to celebrate their end of treatment.  Maybe they taped pink balloons and sticky stars to their heads and danced to “Funky Town?”  Maybe they wore Mickey gloves, or maybe they carried  a huge monkey donning a chef’s hat, apron, and a  basket of cookies. 

Or maybe that’s just me.

I know for sure that I am unbelievably grateful to be here.

Thank You Note From The White House

I am deeply honored this evening.  I received a thank you note from our President Obama, and his wife, Mrs. Obama.  I believe this means they received the first edition of Grace that I sent to them last December.  I love knowing they received it, and I love their lovely good manners:)  The note is special to me, and I will save it. 

It is interesting to me that things like this happen, and they inspire me to be a better person.  I am thinking of our President, and what he needs most from us, as citizens.  We can be the best citizens by being the very best person we can be.  That “best person” is different for everyone.  I guess that we just look for what we have in ourselves to pass on and bless others. 

Why is it that blessing others is the greatest blessing we can receive?

A Girl Named Breanna

I am thinking a lot about a girl named Breanna.  She is the same age I was when I got sick, and she is fighting cancer right now.  I remember how a girl named Rachel came to see me at the clinic after my first round of chemo.  She had battled Hodgkin lymphoma a year before I did, and she looked healthy and happy… and she gave me hope.  That was where I was headed– right where Rachel was. 

You can imagine the mix of emotions inside me.  It makes me “sick” that Breanna is sick and suffering, and it makes me want to do all I can to stop cancer.  Also, it makes me want to give Breanna hope.

A friend gave Breanna my book and introduced us by email. 

 We have sent a few cards to each other, and I even have a picture of Breanna with her very own therapy dog:)   Breanna told me that she likes when her mom reads her my book because, “It reminds me of me.”  My mom cried when she read this… it means so much to her that my story helps children with cancer.  She has a special place in her heart for children with cancer. 

By God’s Grace, I am now the encourager.  And the cycle of love comes full circle.  I feel humble, and blessed, and greatly responsible to pass on the grace that saved my life. 

Please send prayers to the heavens for complete healing for Breanna…

Final Approval for ARCs to go to Press

I am glad that my mom handles the loads of paperwork for our publishing company!  Yikes!  There have been so many finalizing papers, and I admit that I enjoyed putting my signature on two of the agreements.  Who would have ever guessed a year ago, when I was scribbling words in spiral binders, that I would be signing print riders and excitedly awaiting ARCs for Grace: A Child’s Intimate Journey Through Cancer and Recovery in just a few weeks. 

Besides book excitement, dance is awesome this time of the year.  Performances are coming up on Friday and Saturday, May 21 and May 22 at the Clark Center in Arroyo Grande for the Nipomo High School Dance Company.  This show will be so much fun for me– I am dancing in 12 dances!  The finale will be so cool… Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal.” 🙂  Sewing sequined neck adornments for our costumes today too.  And on the 23rd of May, I will perform with San Luis Jazz at the Spanos Theater. 

And then there is lots and lots to take care of right now in school.  I am preparing for my A.P. Biology final tomorrow, and next week, I will take the end of the year special A.P. tests for World History and Biology.  In Spanish II, my homework today was to write a letter (in Spanish) and burn the edges of my paper with a flame to make it look like it was written when Cinco de Mayo took place.  All I can say is that it is always a good thing to burn first and write second!

Alexa Nawrocki Pediatric Cancer Foundation

I have to tell you about an incredibly lovely lady I met on the path of my book endorsement requests.  Her name is Joann, and she lost her two year old daughter, Alexa, to cancer in 2004.  What a beautiful thing she did with her grief.  She created the Alexa Nawrocki Pediatric Cancer Foundation to help other children suffering with cancer and their families.  This inspires me.  This inspires me greatly. 

It seems that none of us escape this world without being battered and bruised along the way.  When someone, like Joann, take their wounds and scars and create a better place for us all to live in, it is remarkable!  This is exactly what I aspire to do.  Joann sees that through all of her efforts, her precious daughter’s light shines so brightly. 

Just think if we all took our life’s “rotten apples” and turned them into a brilliant, fruitful tree of life… wow… what a world we could make!

Thank you Joann.  And Alexa… I love those beautiful angel wings of yours.

“The Cheese” Endorsement, Relay for Life, and Johnny Tan

Hi!!!!!  Have you wondered where the heck I have been?  Guess where?  The first ten guesses don’t count!  This may surprise you, but I have been dancing and dancing and dancing… jamming my homework in between rehearsals and performances. 

Today, a very exciting email arrived from the kind manager of “The Cheese.”  He asked me to call him, and he told me that he has “The Cheese’s” quote for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Unfortunately, when I returned his call after school, he had already gone home for the day– New York time.  I guess I have something to look forward to tomorrow!

Last week, Deb Jeffers from the American Cancer Society called to ask if my mom and I would speak at the Luminary Ceremony at Nipomo’s Relay for Life on May 1.  Mom had plans to go out of town that weekend, to meet up with some high school friends, but we both feel the strong desire to give thanks for my life… and what better way than sharing hope with others who have suffered through cancer, or who have helped loved ones through treatment and recovery.  We will be speaking at 8:00, on May 1st, at the Nipomo Relay for Life.

Over the weekend, I received an email reply  from Johnny Tan.  He has had an amazing life, and I can’t to read his book, From My Mama’s Kitchen.  From what I know, his book is about his mothers (8 of them I believe,) and how they each influenced his life.  He has a talk radio show, FMMK, and I will be joining him for an interview on June 29th, at 10:00 am, Central time.  After learning about him on his website www.frommymamaskitchen.com, I told him that I am going to begin working on getting my very own radio show– so I can interview Johnny!  Lance too!

Dance!

I am happily dancing six days a week, and each day as I travel to dance, and as I am dancing, I remember when I wanted to dance, but my body wouldn’t let me.  I will never forget.  I will always, always be grateful that my body is willing and able to dance!  Yes… dance!

 From Grace:

“I had danced equivalent to how I danced at age three, and every single step was pretty much a disgrace to the dance world.  But the joy that came from those hideous few steps was a kind of happiness that came only from dancing.”

Grace – Cough Medicine Excerpt

I wish that my mind could be permanently wiped clean of the memories of my cough medicine. I want so much to be able to see that little, evil, orange bottle in the cabinet and not involuntarily shiver and cringe. Imagine the most rancid, disgusting substance on planet earth and multiply it by 1,000. Wah-lah! My cough medicine. I can recall myself scrunched up in rollie-pollie position while I desperately downed Hall’s and warm tea…nothing worked.

copyright by Melinda Marchiano, author of Grace

Grace – Chest x-ray Excerpt

 

     As I stood there, splattered against the target board like a swatted fly, I prayed for results. I prayed for death. Not of me, but it. After I had changed back into my own clothes in the tiny, curtain-closed room, I emerged.

     “Can we see them?” I heard Mom ask the technician.

     “Sure,” he replied, tilting the computer screen slightly toward us.

     Woh, it was my chest. White areas illustrated bones, tissues, and organs… I saw a lot of it. My invasive blob was quite apparent and I silently snarled at it; it didn’t answer back. It was so weird staring at myself, but being myself all at the same moment. It was confusing to my mind, this being the first personal x-ray it had seen.

     “Wow, that used to be all white there,” Mom observed, pointing to a dark, black area.

     I held my breath, I was overjoyed.

copyright by Melinda Marchiano, author of Grace

Grace – Discovery Excerpt

     “I think we finally found it,” my mom told me as she shut off the car.  

     “I think that we might have found the culprit… I just have a feeling.”

     I stared at one old, worn out paint line in the parking lot. It was white and rough, stopping at one point before continuing on. Strange the things we remember. I could literally recreate the entire experience… not that I would want to or anything.

     The last thing my mom told me as I stumbled out of the car was, “Whatever we find, we’re going to get it.”

     Why are doctor’s office clocks so loud? They seem to “death tick,” each second a loud clunk that makes your heart leap. The room was really cold, and I had goose bumps and the chills. I examined the little, clear jar of cotton balls for a few minutes, and then, I heard the door opening. Every hair on my body stood on end. I had a weird tickle in my stomach that I blamed on breakfast. Dr. Gonzalez wore her usual, glowing grin, but a look in her eyes displayed great concern. She greeted us and perched atop her stool. All was quiet for just a moment, and then she began.

     “Well, we found something on your CT.”

     She hesitated, and a millisecond of relief came over me, but it was just that, one teeny-tiny ounce of joy before my entire world melted around me.

copyright by Melinda Marchiano, author of Grace