A Childhood Cancer Survivor Blogging about the World of Childhood Cancer

Grace

 

 

 

Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.

~Mother Teresa

From Jessie Rees Foundation Facebook Page 1-24-2013

 https://www.facebook.com/JessieReesFoundation

 

“My Jessie Journal:: Hi Sweet-Pea! I miss you so much. It has been really hard for us after your one year Heaven date. I think I have been medicating myself with busyness and not really dealing with some stuff that I need to. Bottom-line is I’m mad at God. I’m not turning my back on him but I am mad. It took me years to understand why He let my dad physically and emotionally abuse me when I was a little boy. But I’ve learned there are certain things in life that I won’t fully understand until I’m with you. So I will add that to my “talk to God bucket”. The main reason I’m mad now is the immense residual pain your fight has left on our family. I don’t like seeing your mommy, sister and little bro cry. I just want to take aware their pain like I wanted to take away your cancer. But I can’t. And as a dad that prides himself on being a great “daddy” not being able to take pain away and protect my kids is so hard. Then I think of the million+ other families that sit with the same residue in their heart. I have been able to help some of these families navigate their grief the last year, which is a good thing but I just reminds me of the broken brutal world we live in. This is not heaven!!! There is a little saying that says, “Life Hurts…God Heals”. I fully understand the “life hurts” part and want to believe God “heals” but after months of praying, pleading, begging, negotiating with Him for your healing and then getting no earthly healing it really was hard. So again, I’m left to “trust” in God. My counselor is challenging me to “fall back in love with God”. That seems so distant but sometimes in life there are situations that call for us to move forward despite our feelings and fears. So I’m going to focus on your little motto and message NEGU to keep my momentum going as I repair my relationship with God and strive to help mommy, Shaya and JT. NEGU on God and NEGU on Life is what I need to focus on.  If you get a chance, please visit in my prayers. I would love to hear, “I’m ok daddy”. I know in my head you are but my heart would love to hear from you.  Miss you tons, love your more and I will see you in a “wink”. I promise!

Jessie’s father’s cry breaks my heart. It breaks my heart. Little kids are not supposed to suffer; they are not supposed to die. The emotional damage of childhood cancer is deep, and it’s something so painful that we have difficulty acknowledging it. If we have never experienced the horror ourselves, we feel much better not getting close to those feelings. Those feelings are unimaginable—if we even go to the place of imagining… oh my gosh… it might happen to us!!!

But the trouble with turning away is that this same nightmare will continue its devastation on children and their entire families. We must ask ourselves how we can stop it and then do everything we can, as fast as we can, to get it done.

We need research for cures for childhood cancer. With proper funding, cures are within our reach.

Dear Mr. Rees,
 
I can hardly see as I write this to you. I will always remember this message of yours. Before this day, I had already dedicated my life to doing all that I can to bring cures for children with cancer. What I want you to know is that your heart has renewed, inspired, and encouraged my fight.
If I may encourage you in your faith, it would be a great blessing. We hear all the time that “God is in control,” but what I would love for you to consider is that He gave all of us free will. If “our will” was to cure childhood cancer, it would have already been done. We are missing what is right in front of us. We have the tools, the resources, and the knowledge. But our will, as a society, is twisted into false perceptions because what we imagine to be truly important is oftentimes nonsense. One example… how much did we spend in the United States last year on cosmetic surgery?  Since I asked this, I had to look it up… $10.4 BILLION…
I am so sorry for your tremendous loss. My prayer is that your pain will transform people’s lives– like it has mine– to help them to make choices based on care, compassion, kindness, and love. I pray you grow closer to our loving, living God. You have made an imprint on my heart forever. I wish there was a way I could thank you.
 
With hope for all of our futures,
 
Melinda

What can YOU do?

Please take a moment to sign this petition:

Light the White House Gold for the month of September to honor pediatric cancer fighters.

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/light-white-house-gold-month-september-honor-pediatric-cancer-fighters-and-bring-light-cause/syV6M6wX

St. Baldrick’s Shave

http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/melinda

St  Baldrick's Flyer

 

 

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