A Childhood Cancer Survivor Blogging about the World of Childhood Cancer

Posts tagged ‘gratitude’

Gratitude

Grace: A Child's Intimate Journey Through Cancer And Recovery

Today, and every day, I wake thinking of the children still fighting their cancer battle.  I think of all the families thrust into the nightmare. My heart breaks for the families who have lost their child.  I share their sorrow and their grief, and I swear I will do everything I can to help stop childhood cancer— stop the suffering and great, great loss.

 As a survivor, there are no Earthly words to express my gratitude for life.  What I know is that it hurts to share in the suffering of others.  I understand why people need to turn away, because the truth is so painful that it strips away every single barnacle off your heart until it is barren and exposed.  This “exposure” is good for us, I think in some ways.  It brings us to the core of who we are and why we are here.  It makes us truly appreciate the love we have in our lives and makes us grateful people. It makes us giving people.

 During treatment, there were times I wondered if I would ever be able to dance again…

 I will always remember exactly how that pain felt—to not be able to dance— and to be truthful, it hurts my heart to even imagine it now.

 Today, as I share the pain of others, I will also rejoice in the extreme gratitude I will always have because I am able to dance!!!!!!!!

 From Grace:

 “The tribal-like music blared, and my body strained to do the movements. I was actually doing it . . . what I thought was entirely impossible . . . I was dancing. On the brink of crying out of joy, I was distracted by the intense concentration it took to make my body do what I begged it to accomplish. Tuesday was modern class, and my bald head had an almost internal glow under the dim lights.

I felt horrible. My vision was fuzzy, my legs were weaker than twigs, and my back moaned with the intense pain of the Neupogen shots. But somehow I kept going. As long as the music was playing, it carried me, supported me. I didn’t think. The music and my spirit guided my body through every single step.

The most amazing feeling on Earth is when I am just dancing, not thinking, stressing, or trying too hard to control the movements. It was happiness, and my love for dance, that moved me and kept me going. Experiencing a new, powerful connection with the melodic beat of the song, I felt like I was in a dream… it was too good to be true. Having virtually no coordination, God moved me, like His little puppet. Somehow managing to make my fragile body appear graceful, I danced in honor of life and Him.”

                        Copyright 2010 Melinda Marchiano Grace: A Child’s Intimate Journey Through Cancer and Recovery

May 2011 Nipomo High School Dance Company

“Held” by Natalie Grant, choreographed by Melinda (I hope you enjoy the dance!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rozVr1rhh50&feature=related

Have I told you before how much I love dance???????????????? 

Posing by Statue Ballerina on the Children's Hospital Hope Tour

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Greenleaf Book Group and Grace

I am a researcher. Before launching myself into this book-creating process, I learned as much as I could about many aspects of publishing. There are so many options that it can be overwhelming trying to sort everything out in order to make good decisions. I am extremely fortunate to have had a mentor named Matt who placed many options in front of me that I could investigate. He never told me what he thought would be best for me and my book, but instead he described the options with the pros and cons. I cannot say how much I appreciate what he has done.

It’s funny that many people think that they have to tell someone what to do in order to be helpful. Actually, I prefer the “Matt Method,” because everyone is different. What I want for my book will be different from what you want (okay, we all want “best-sellers”!!!!!!!) 

As I hold one of the very first books of mine– hot off the press– I can’t help feeling gratitude. I am grateful to God for my life! I am grateful to my mom for typing over 90,000 words that compose my book. I am grateful to Matt for lighting the Greenleaf Option. I am grateful to Greenleaf Book  Group for allowing me to work alongside their incredibly talented, caring, and fun folks to make Grace: A Child’s Intimate Journey Through Cancer and Recovery just how I wanted it. I am grateful to Gramma and Poppy for their love and support for my project that was born straight from my heart. I am grateful for the opportunity to share my heart with readers.

Grace is in my hands right now, but it feels like “she” will always remain in my heart.

Cover Design and Endorsements!

My friends, I am one excited person.  We finalized the cover design for Grace: A Child’s Intimate Journey Through Cancer and Recovery today… I am in love with my book cover!  My mom and I were joking, as I spurted my excitement about this, that I am going to have to change my “relationship status” on my Facebook Page from “single.”  We even took it a step further, imagining changing from “single” to “in a relationship” to “engaged” as my love for my cover grows!  It won’t be long before I reveal the book cover mystery:) for all to see.

I am very, very happy that endorsements are coming in each day from places where cancer patients can receive support.  Some of these organizations have even been so kind that they forward my information to other people, and foundations that they think will be interested in my story!  Now how nice is that?! 

So, even though my trip to the doctor’s yesterday revealed that I have a sinus infection and a touch of pneumonia, I have a big smile on my face, and a huge dose of gratitude growing in my heart.  I am grateful for the blessings of today!

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